I am a very anxious person and often get so worked up in certain situations that I get physically sick, not fun!! And for some reason the thought of going into labour and giving birth seemed to be one of these situations for me, I wish I could explain why, but it filled me with terror. Was it the fear of the unexpected? Was it was the fear of something going wrong? Probably.
We had had a difficult time getting to the stage of carrying a healthy baby (that story is for another time) so I was petrified something would go wrong my whole pregnancy, I struggled to enjoy it. I remember a friend telling me, ‘welcome to motherhood! that worry will never go away’ and so far that is true haha.
The underlying fear made me lean toward electing to have a caesarean, in my mind I felt more in control and that made me feel better. As it turned out my decision was made for me… Clare was in the frank breech position from 20 weeks, we were booked in for a planned Caesarean at 38 weeks.
At 34.4 weeks I was having regular ultrasounds and having to go into the hospital for fetal monitoring every second day due to concern over decreased amniotic fluid – insert high anxiety levels here!!! I was told bub was small but nothing to worry about too much about if she arrived early.
On the morning of the 6th of January 2015 – 36 weeks - I went off to work feeling really heavy and tired but otherwise well, around midday I headed home for a lay down. At 2pm I had a leg waxing appointment, during which I felt extremely uncomfortable and could wait to get off the bed. Once I stood up I felt the sudden urge to go to the toilet, like NOW!!! At this point I should have remembered a very good friend of mine telling me, if you suddenly need to do a massive poo you are in labour hahaha.
I couldn’t get out of there fast enough, I was genuinely concerned I would have to go right there!!!!! ewwwww. Then not 2 minutes later my water broke – in my car!!!! Surprisingly I didn’t panic, I calmly called the hospital and the midwife who knew my situation told me to come straight in, I couldn’t even go home and get changed and get my things…. what???.
I was only a few minutes from the hospital and luckily so was hubby, we arrived at the same time. Hubby has come running out of the hospital with a wheelchair screaming ‘get in’ hahahaha I could not stop laughing, clearly he has seen to many movies!!!! I still laugh when thinking about it.
Once in the birthing suite the contractions had started, the Obstetrician was there within a few minutes, the usual checks where done, from this point on I don’t really remember a whole lot about what went on, I don’t think I was told too much, I remember all of a sudden the room was filled with people, hubby was taken to get into scrubs and a midwife said you are being taken for an emergency Caesarean NOW – que panic, rising vomit, uncontrollable shaking & fear. I think I was silent from this point on, muted by the fear. Although, I did think at one point in theatre when they were shaving me, ‘lucky I got my legs waxed!!’
I remember the man who was holding me up while they were trying to get the spinal in was very nice; he was talking me through contractions and made me feel calm. I wish I had of said thank-you to him. Hubby wasn’t in the room until they had the spinal in.
Once the cutting, pulling and tugging sensation started it felt like a life time before we heard her cry, oh that cry is THE BEST THING EVER!!! She cried and I cried, it is a feeling I can’t describe and had never experienced until I become a parent. I only caught a quick glimpse of Clare before she was taken to the waiting paediatrician for a check over. She was a healthy 2.57kgs born at 36 weeks and was able to come with me to recovery.
The first 24 hours where difficult after the caesarean, not been able to get up initially is hard. The nurses had me out of bed the next day, at the time it did feel impossible but I got there, thank-god for pain killers!!! That first shower was heaven. Tyring to sit down and go to the toilet the first few time was virtually impossible, my advice to new mums after having a caesarean is: don’t even bother trying to sit to go to the loo the first few times just stand in the shower and go!!. Once up, it really amazed me how quickly I started to feel better, every day is so much better than the last (pain and movement wise). The human body is amazing!
We had a longer stay in hospital due to Clare being in the nursey as she was 4 weeks early, which also gave me more time to heal.
Overall I feel my caesarean experience was a positive one and feel proud of the way she entered the world… Cheers to women and their bodies, bloody awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for taking the time to read, if you would like to share your birth story or any other pregnancy/birth/parenting story or experience please email it to email@example.com I would love to share it.
I will leave you with one of my most favorite quotes and some pics......
The moment a child is born; the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.
Welcome to the world little lady.
Because Clare was in the Frank Breech position, her little legs were stuck up in the air (one worse then the other). They took about a week to come down.
They day after, I had not slept a wink!